The Illusion of Enoughness Through Others

“I have been waiting for you to tell me I am enough. As if your words can fix what your actions are showing me.”

There’s a particular kind of ache that comes from holding out our worth in someone else’s hands.

We don’t always realize we’re doing it.
We think we’re just being patient.
Being understanding.
Waiting for them to come around—to see us clearly.
To say it out loud.

“You’re enough.”

And for a moment, we imagine those words landing like balm on the bruises we’ve tried to ignore.
We imagine them washing away the doubt their actions quietly carved into us.

But here’s the truth:

Words don’t heal what behavior keeps wounding.

When someone’s actions dismiss your needs, ignore your heart, or speak only in absence—you learn to read the truth beneath their lips.

It’s disorienting. Because you want to believe their words.
You need to believe that if they just said the right thing, everything could click back into place.

But it never does. Because enoughness—real enoughness—doesn’t come from someone else’s mouth.

It comes from the moment you stop waiting.

From the quiet turning inward.
From the shaky but honest declaration:
“Their approval cannot be the proof of my worth.”

You are not too much.
You are not too sensitive.
You are not hard to love.

You are simply no longer willing to beg for scraps of validation from someone who isn’t feeding you with consistency and care.

That is not rejection. That is returning to yourself.

Because when you stop waiting to be told you’re enough, you start living like you already are.