There’s a reason why other people’s emotions sometimes feel overwhelming: they reflect the unprocessed places in ourselves.
If I haven’t faced my grief, someone else’s tears may feel unbearable. If I’ve buried my anger, another’s rage can seem threatening. If I’ve denied my joy, someone else’s celebration might stir envy instead of support.
Unprocessed emotions don’t vanish. They linger beneath the surface, waiting to be mirrored. That’s why we try to “fix,” dismiss, or control others—because their feelings awaken something unresolved in us.
But here’s the shift: when we learn to regulate and tend to our own emotions, we create the inner safety needed to sit with someone else’s without collapsing, running, or silencing. We begin to listen without rescuing. Witness without retreating. Honor without comparing.
The deeper our compassion for our own inner world, the more naturally we extend that compassion outward. Holding space for others begins with holding space for ourselves.
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