The Hurt We Hate

April 21, 2025

Why Naming What Hurt Isn’t Weakness – It’s Return

There are wounds we survive.
And then there are wounds we try to forget.
Not because they didn’t matter – but because they did. So much that we swallowed them whole just to keep breathing.

We say we’re “fine.”
We get good at being functional.
We wear strength like armor and carry silence like a second skin.

But somewhere in us – beneath the productivity, the peace-keeping, the perfection
– there’s still a part that remembers.

Not just the moment we were hurt…
But the moment we realized we had to tolerate it.

And we hated that.

Not just the pain.
But the fact that we were expected to hold it alone.

The Hurt We Hate Isn’t Just a Feeling – It’s a Story We Were Never Allowed to Finish

It’s the invisible contract we signed without knowing:

Be small. Be quiet. Be easy to love.
Don’t speak up. Don’t ask for too much. Don’t fall apart.

So we didn’t.
We tolerated what should have never been tolerated.
And in doing so, we learned to hate parts of ourselves too.

The truth is – we never hated ourselves.
We hated the hurt we thought we had to carry just to belong.

This Isn’t About Blame. It’s About Witnessing.

Healing doesn’t come from blaming the past.
It comes from reclaiming the self who got lost in it.
It comes from saying:

That hurt me.
I pretended it didn’t.
But it did. And I get to say so now.

The Return Begins With One Question:

What pain are you still carrying because no one told you it mattered?

You don’t have to justify it.
You don’t have to explain it away.
You don’t have to be “healed” to start honoring your truth.

You just have to sit beside what still hurts…
And say:

I see you now.
You were never too much.
You were never meant to carry this alone.

You’re Not Too Late for Your Own Healing

The part of you that still aches is not broken.
It’s waiting.
Not to be fixed – but to be felt.

That’s where your power is.
Not in becoming someone else – but in coming home to who you were before the silence.

You are the one who returned.
You carry the wisdom, not the wound.

You’re allowed to speak.
You’re allowed to feel.
You’re allowed to live differently now.

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