Alone or Lonely

There are many who feel the struggle within, whenever they feel lonely, or feel alone in the world.

Let’s understand the differences between these two states of being.

Alone: having no one else present.

Lonely: without companions; solitary.

The human species have deeply encoded within them a need for connection.  Just like we need air, water, sleep, food, appropriate shelter, we ‘need’ connection as well.

We are a social species and to the degree that one is social, varies dependent on many factors. We will focus more on human to human connections at this time.

What does it truly mean to make a connection?

Connection: a relationship in which a person, thing, or idea is linked or associated with something else.

Relationship: the way in which two or more people or groups regard and behave toward each other.

Ask yourself who you spend time with, that you do not feel alone or lonely when you are around them?

Now take a moment to ask yourself who you are hanging out with that you do feel alone or lonely around?

When we look at the definition of connection those who you feel alone or lonely around you are NOT connecting with, &/or they are not connecting with you.  Therefore you are not getting one of your basic ‘needs’ meet…CONNECTION.

Most of us know what it feels like to be in a room full of other humans, yet you feel absolutely alone and lonely all at the same time.  It feels like shit!

Now think about those moments you are in a space or place with no other human beings around, are you ‘lonely’?

To be alone and not feel lonely in a space or place is a wondrous thing.

How often does this happen to you?

When and where do you feel this way?

Many human beings rarely have/experience a state of fulfillment in their lives, and the question is ‘why?’.

Why indeed?…

Taking the time to investigate what you are experiencing, through the observation of your thoughts, emotions and how you act, when you are either ‘alone’ or ‘lonely’ is insightful.

Understanding the differences between these two states brings clarity to your investigation.

Neither ‘alone’ or ‘lonely’ are negative or positive, they are both capable of being either negative or positive, all dependant on how you are relating to them from your frame of reference, in what you believe them to mean in your life.

Your investigation of how they affect your life can give you a deeper awareness of how you are operating, whether that be desirable or undesirable, in your life, your relationships, and the world you live in.

Here is an example.  When you are ‘alone’, no one else present, you are better able to focus on whatever task you are wanting to accomplish.  Is this not a desirable situation?  In this example ‘alone’ has a positive effect.

An example where you desire, require another perspective of a situation that you find yourself stuck on and you are ‘alone’.  You are unable to think outside of the loop your mind is stuck in and you’re getting more and more frustrated.  You feel like you are trapped in your mind and all ‘alone’.

In this situation, having someone to talk to that gives you a different perspective, helping you get out of the mental loop you found yourself stuck in, creating a negative experience.

Now go back in your life to see when you have experienced ‘alone’ in either a negative or a positive way.  Write it down and contemplate on the fact that ‘alone’ can have either a negative effect or a positive effect which in turn will affect your life.

There are so many scenarios around ‘alone’ that can be framed as either negative or positive.

Now have look at ‘lonely’ in the same investigative way.  ‘Lonely’ can be either negative or positive, depending on your frame of reference.

The example of going to a gathering where you find yourself, without companions; solitary, is it a negative or a positive experience?

You get the point.

Take the time to investigate for yourself how you are experiencing ‘alone’ and ‘lonely’, asking yourself whether you want to change your beliefs and perceptions of ‘alone’ and ‘lonely’ to create a positive affect in your life.

Go be ‘alone’ with your ‘loneliness’ and investigate deeper within yourself all that you ‘alone’ are able to ‘be’.

‘Be’ing YOU…