I wasn’t struggling with depression.
I was struggling with life.
Depression was the effect, not the cause.
For a long time, I believed something was wrong with me – that I was broken or chemically defective. But the truth was simpler and more human than that. I was carrying too much. Trying too hard. Living in ways that my soul could no longer sustain.
Depression didn’t arrive out of nowhere; it arrived with purpose. It was my system’s way of saying, “Enough.” It slowed everything down when I refused to. It numbed me when feeling everything would have shattered me. It shut me down because I kept pushing forward in directions that no longer belonged to me.
It took me years to understand that depression wasn’t my enemy – it was my language of imbalance. It was how my body, mind, and spirit communicated that the way I was living was no longer in alignment with who I truly was.
When I finally began to listen, I stopped asking,
“How do I fix my depression?”
and started asking,
“What in my life became so heavy that my soul could no longer lift it?”
That question changed everything.
Because healing didn’t come from fighting the darkness; it came from honoring what the darkness was trying to protect. Depression became less of a diagnosis and more of a dialogue – a deep internal conversation between my humanity and my divinity.
Now, I see depression not as weakness, but as wisdom.
It is the soul’s emergency brake – the moment life says, “Something has to change.”
And that realization isn’t despairing. It’s liberating.
Because when we stop blaming ourselves for the effect, we finally begin to address the cause.
Reflection Prompt
Pause and ask:
What parts of my life have become too heavy to hold?
What needs my honesty more than my endurance?
Sometimes, the most powerful act of healing begins not with doing, but with listening.
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